


the guy on the couch

by thunderylee



Category: KAT-TUN (Band), Kanjani8 (Band), NewS (Band)
Genre: Canon Universe, Humor, M/M, Multi, Pre-Slash, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-06-01
Updated: 2008-06-01
Packaged: 2019-02-05 05:18:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12787848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/pseuds/thunderylee
Summary: Five times Ryo sleeps over at someone’s house and the one time he actually gets some sleep.





	the guy on the couch

**Author's Note:**

> reposted from agck.

Ryo looks at the paper on his door and scowls. Forty-eight hour notice for mandatory plumbing repair that will mean no water for seven days, coincidentally before a busy week of scheduling with both groups.

Motherfuck. Time to impose on his asshole friends, because they owe him.

> 1\. Monday

Ohkura’s place is the closest to the office, so naturally Ryo shows up there on the first day. He doesn’t even call first, just brings his shit to work and follows Ohkura home like he lives there too. Ohkura doesn’t say anything, but he does have this interesting smirk on his face as he makes up the couch and offers Ryo a bath.

Ohkura’s bathtub is nicer than his, and as he soaks in the pleasantly-scented oils he thinks that he should impose on Ohkura more often. It’s quiet and comfortable, his stress and worries dissipating in the warm water as he reaches for Ohkura’s shampoo and starts to wash his hair.

The bottle is taken from him and Ryo looks up, sees that damn smirk again, but he’s not opposed to letting someone else wash his hair and leans back obligingly as Ohkura gets started. His fingers are steady and firm as they massage his scalp, his hand generously covering Ryo’s eyes when he brings the showerhead down to rinse the soap out.

He rakes his nails through Ryo’s wet hair, making Ryo sigh softly and not even twitch when he feels Ohkura’s lips on his forehead and his arms snake around his neck. He doesn’t mind because Ohkura’s not talking, a man of few words who prefers to express himself through actions.

He continues not to speak as he lowers himself into the bathtub and covers Ryo’s mouth with his own, the water splashing in time with his movements, and Ryo’s kind of grateful that he doesn’t have to get off by himself until he feels Ohkura take advantage of the oils in the water and finally confronts him.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Ohkura smirks once more. “Collecting rent.”

> 2\. Tuesday

One would think that Ryo would function rather well the day after getting laid, but he’s gotten to that age where sleep is greater than sex and therefore the first thing he does is make new arrangements.

“You look like shit,” Yoko greets him, and it’s worse coming from him with his bedhair and face pubes.

“I’m sleeping on your couch tonight,” Ryo responds.

Yoko yawns, which Ryo takes as consent and heads to the practice room to catch ten more minutes of sleep before Hina arrives and makes his headache worse.

Work _sucks_ , and the last thing he wants is to hang out with both Yoko and Subaru while they are being generally retarded and making fun of the music videos on TV like they’re Beavis and Butthead. Ryo considers passing out in Yoko’s bed while they have at it, but he doesn’t think that’s a very good idea given Yoko’s track record and being anywhere near his bed would be like offering himself up on a silver platter.

Subaru has straws up his nose when Ryo finishes with his bath, thankfully uninterrupted, and Ryo doesn’t give them a second glance as he settles on the couch next to Subaru-walrus and closes his eyes, trying to think of quiet, peaceful things to contrast the loud cacophony of grunts and snickers mixed in with really bad pop music.

It’s actually working and he’s about to go under when someone pokes him and nudges him to lay down, utilizing a lap as a pillow. Judging by the lack of boniness, it’s Yoko’s, although Subaru is scooting under his feet and it’s really not that bad, particularly when Yoko starts stroking his hair. Subaru sliding his hands up the back of Ryo’s legs is debatable, and once he feels his ass being squeezed he knows he’s lost again.

At least being in the middle means that he gets to top someone.

> 3\. Wednesday

Maybe Ryo’s been going about this all wrong. Of course the other members of Kanjani8 are going to take advantage of his homelessness and break off a piece of the Ryo-pie for themselves. What Ryo needs to do is exploit his other group, the innocent, wide-eyed, rainbow-shooting _children_ whom he can’t even swear around for fear of violating their sense of humanity.

Obviously Tegoshi is at the top of the list. He still lives with his mother and if Ryo knows how to do anything really well, it’s wooing mothers. He shows up with cake and a single flower, bows low in apology for the disturbance, and puts on his best sad face as he relays his predicament and asks if he can stay the night.

Tegoshi is like a puppy, bounding down the stairs and flinging himself on Ryo even though he’s freshly out of the bath and wearing flannel pajamas. Tegomama offers cookies and Ryo feels like a kid again, particularly when it’s his turn to bathe and he sees the rubber duck on the ledge of the tub.

Nobody will ever know if he plays with it, and he’s certainly not about to tell.

A futon is set up in Tegoshi’s room and Ryo crashes into it, grateful that Tegoshi has school in the morning and goes to bed at a decent hour. Tegoshi tucks him in because he’s not always self-centered, and five minutes later Ryo still feels eyes on him and looks over, sees him kneeling next to the futon with his finger tapping his lips in thought.

“What’s wrong, Tego-nyan?” he asks gently.

Tegoshi looks away, and even the dark Ryo can see his cheeks blush. “Can I sleep down here with you?”

“Of course,” Ryo replies without a second thought, scooting over to make more room. Certainly sweet, innocent Tegoshi wouldn’t pose a threat to his promise of a full night’s sleep.

Grinning, Tegoshi slips under the covers and settles next to Ryo, his arms sliding around Ryo’s waist and his face pressing into Ryo’s shoulder. Tegoshi’s hair smells like strawberries and Ryo can’t help but breathe it in, turning a little to embrace Tegoshi as well and noticing something that is not sweet nor innocent poking into his leg.

Tegoshi giggles and squirms, moaning softly as he finds friction. “Ryo-tan, this feels good.”

Ryo starts to protest, but then Tegoshi’s lips are on his neck and curious hands are exploring his body, and Ryo’s completely overcome by the will of Tegoshi yet again as he finds his lips and gradually rolls on top of him.

It turns out Tegoshi’s neither sweet nor innocent, not by a long shot.

> 4\. Thursday

Ryo has _had_ it with the not sleeping and constant exhaustion, and while he never thought he’d be tired of orgasming, he’s had it with that too. What he needs is someone who has absolutely no sex appeal, someone who is pretty much asexual and wouldn’t bat an eye if Ryo strode around naked and wet with a big sparkly target on his ass.

He grins when Shige answers the door with a frown. “What.”

“Hi, roomie!” Ryo greets him enthusiastically, bouncing past him into the blandly decorated apartment and spinning around because he’s had entirely too much coffee and No-Doz.

Shige turns around, makes an appalled face, and folds his arms over his chest. “I have school in the morning.”

“ _Awesome_ ,” Ryo comments. “Where’s your couch?”

“I don’t have one.”

Ryo blinks. “You don’t have a couch?”

“I just moved in!” Shige waves his arms around, gesturing towards all of the unpacked boxes. “I didn’t realize I would be having a houseguest so soon.”

Shrugging, Ryo regards the twin mattress on the floor and tilts his head. “We’ll fit.”

Shige’s eyebrows narrow angrily. “The hell we-”

“Katou,” Ryo interrupts, dropping his bag on the floor and facing the other with his hands on his hips. “I have had a testing week. I would like some sleep, and you’re pretty much the only person I know who doesn’t want to fuck me.”

Shige blanches. “Ew.”

Ryo smiles. “I’ll even let you take a bath first.”

“Gee, thanks.” Shige eyes him in sheer annoyance before grabbing his night clothes and disappearing into the bathroom.

Ryo’s passed out by the time he comes back, toweling his hair and smelling entirely too good. Shige doesn’t have the heart to wake him, perching on the very edge of the bed since Ryo’s pretty much sprawled across it. He tries to get comfortable and ends up nudging Ryo’s shoulder, which leads to Ryo turning around and embracing Shige from behind, sucking on his neck and digging a very persistent erection into his back.

Shige’s very weak to seduction and all it takes is Ryo’s hands creeping around his waist before he flips over, pouncing on top of him and fusing their mouths together. Ryo wakes up when Shige grinds down against him, moaning softly until he realizes what’s going on and tries to push Shige away.

“The fuck, even you?” he grumbles.

“My girlfriend doesn’t put out,” Shige whispers heatedly, like that’s justification. “And besides, you started it.”

“The hell I-”

And Shige shuts him up with his tongue, doing things that make Ryo wonder where he learned them and also whether the innocence of his first group is more for show.

When Shige comes, Ryo can swear he hears a cat meowing.

> 5\. Friday

The end of the week means nothing to idols, who work eight days a week and don’t know the concept of a ‘weekend’ at all. Particularly this idol who is dragging ass and getting scolded by his leader while Shige avoids him like the plague and Tegoshi keeps making googly eyes.

Said leader doesn’t look surprised at all to see him on his porch that night, nor when he’s backed straight into a wall with a tongue down his throat and a hand on his ass.

“Oh _hell_ yeah,” Jin comments from the couch, abandoning whatever video game he’d been playing to saddle up behind Ryo and make a sandwich.

It should unnerve him that he can just walk into the Pin Palace and be naked in fifteen seconds, but dammit, if he’s going to be forced to choose sex over sleep, it’s going to be worth it.

> 6\. Saturday/Sunday

Ryo’s on his last stand, his seventy-thousandth wind that barely gets him to the ugly blue door with the flower smiley face around the peep hole. His ass hurts and his legs don’t want to hold him up, his lips swollen and his abs cramped. He must look like death warmed over, but he doesn’t give a shit because this is the absolute last person he can think of to stay with.

Uchi wrinkles his nose when he finally answers the door, his curlers bouncing and his avocado-masked face hardened in an unimpressed expression. “You smell.”

“You look scary,” Ryo replies, leaning on the doorframe.

Uchi rolls his eyes and shoves Ryo in the bathroom, leaving him with a choice of twenty scented bath oils and several different lines of hair care products.

His week’s worth of laundry is in the dryer and a steaming cup of hot tea is on the table when Ryo comes out, a fluffy pillow and heavy blanket waiting for him on the couch.

“Uchi, you’re the best,” he says, but he gets no response.

Because Uchi’s in his bedroom with the door closed, a sleeping mask over his eyes and peaceful ocean sounds from the CD player mixing with the humidifier to lull him to dreamland. Ryo settles into the soft couch cushions and pulls the blanket over him, wondering why he didn’t come over here in the first place. They’re not exactly estranged. And besides, everyone knows that Uchi values his beauty sleep over everything else.

He’ll probably jump Ryo in the morning, but Ryo would be offended if he didn’t. Face it, he’s _hot_.


End file.
